Sephiroth's Second Life Trial Outakes
by kadajyazooloz
Summary: These are the outakes to Sephiroth's Second Life Trial. They aren't as long as the story but funny in my opinion. Enjoy. Please Review.
1. Chapter 1

Sephiroth's Second Life Trial Chapter 1

Cast in this chapter

Aeris, Loz, Yazoo, Kadaj, Tonberry, Moogle, Sephiroth, Jenova(minor).

Director: Me, the Author.

Author's Note: These our the outakes of my fanfic _'SEPHIROTH'S SECOND LIFE TRIAL'. _Which you should've read before this. But still, decently funny. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Darkness. Darkness everywhere. No matter how hard they looked, or where they looked, all they could see was darkness. Then, FLASH, balloons and ribbons spread all over.

"CUT," I shouted getting up from my chair. "WHO PUT BALLOONS ON THIS SCENE."

--------------

They four men noticed that they were chained up in gummy bears.

"WHAT THE? CUT," I shouted again. "God, send me stage managers.

"Sephiroth," said Kadaj. "I guess- BURP."

I threw my director hat on the ground. "What was that?"

The entire stage crew was laughing.

"Sorry boss," said Kadaj laughing loudly. "Guess I shouldn't have had that burrito for lunch huh?"

"Let's try it again."

They set up again.

"Sephiroth," said Kadaj. "I guess...uh...LINE."

I threw my hand to my head. "Alright, strike one. Let's try again."

They set up once again.

"Sephiroth," said Kadaj. "I guess you didn't win the lottery huh?"

I threw the script in the air. "One...more...time."

"Sephiroth," said Kadaj. "I guess you didn't win against Cloud."

I smiled.

"Too bad, I put 7000 gil on you."

I got up from my seat and charged Kadaj. "I'LL KILL YOU."

Kadaj was running from me while smiling and laughing.

Sephiroth turned his head, facing his three clones. "Mother has chosen to abandon us" said Sephiroth. "Were orphans, who will be like that guy in that book who asked 'May I have some ore.'"

"For god sakes, GO BY THE SCRIPT," I shouted standing up. "Let's try again."

They set up again.

Sephiroth turned his head, facing his three clones. "Mother has chosen to sew the Lifestream, she won't win, we'll be poor and out of a job."

"Your going to be if you don't get this script right," I said while scratching the wood on my chair. "One more time."

They set up again.

Sephiroth turned his head, facing his three clones. "Mother has chosen to abandon-."

"Pikachu," came the voice of a yellow mouse.

"Who let the mouse on this set?" I said looking around. "This is the Final Fantasy VII section, NOT THE POKEMON SECTION. Alright, everyone, he's our dinner."

Everyone starts chasing the mouse. Sephiroth sitting down with his three clones and having some tea.

"You know, I don't get paid enough for this," said Sephiroth through another sip.

"Alright, cue the crowd shouting scene. AND, ACTION."

The crowd was shouting the word 'BIG MAC' over and over again, until the large moogle raised it's hand in the air causing silence instantly.

"No McDonalds, Geez."

"I know that you all want these four to be guilty, however," said the Moogle with dread in that last word. "They must show us their baby pictures. Now, Sephiroth, let's see yours."

"CUUUUUUUUUT," I shouted loudly. "Why me? Listen Moogle." I stopped when I saw Sephiroth chasing the Moogle around with Masamune in hand. "Never mind, I'm enjoying this."

"Alright, blaming Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, ACTION."

"Do you, Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, admit in torturing humans, poisoned children, killing innocent humans, and reviving JENOVA, Kupo?" said the Moogle in a angry tone.

Just then the stage doors opened up with Garnet from Final Fantasy IX marching through them angrily. Kadaj saw this and ran behind Sephiroth.

"Where is he?" asked Garnet in my face.

"Buzz off girl, I'm doing a fanfic," I responded.

She grabbed me by the jacket and put in the air as high as she could. "What did you say?"

"Nothing," I said in fear. "Who, and why do you need to see this person?"

She put down, roughly. "I need to see Kadaj."

"What's he done," asked Sephiroth smirking.

"That's none of your conce-," she stopped when she looked at Sephiroth. "Hi Sephy poo."

Sephiroth's expression turned to annoyance in a second.

"How would you like to be the father of the child that I'm carrying?"

Everyone froze, no sound was made. Sephiroth side stepped to reveal a terrified Kadaj.

"YOU, YOU GOT ME PREGNANT," shouted Garnet running after him.

"Didn't see that coming," said Sephiroth.

"Well, due to the injury of Kadaj," I said pointing to Kadaj who was in a wheelchair, cast over his right arm, eye patch over his left, bandages all over his body and a blood infuser thing added to him. "Well, we won't have any more practice so go home everybody. Oh, and Kadaj," Kadaj looked at him painfully, "Be a good father."

Everyone roared with laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Yeah...this is way overdue, but I tried my best to make it funny. Hope you like it.

**Scene:1 Coming towards Spira**

They kept falling, faster and faster, unti they reached the planet and hit what was supposed to be the ocean but instead pure earth and rocks.

Director: CUT! Who forgot to put the ocean in!?

Someone: Oh we need the ocean NOW?

Director: Someone kill him!

**Scene 2: Tidus makes fun of Sephiroth**

Tidus: Isn't that sword overcompensating for something?

Sephiroth: At least I try to overcompensate. Your sword tells women "I can't even make up for my small manhood because I have a small sword. Even though I come from Japan, and anime based, I don't have a large sword!"

Tidus: sniff That hurt sniff

Director: Oh for the love of...cut, and someone get him a tissue.

**Scene 3: Sephiroth's destinations**

Wakka: So where you headed?

Sephiroth, digging his sword into the ground, and putting his left leg on it's hilt: North, where the wind blows, and adventures await, and all that cliche stuff that Japan's overused.

Director: CUT!

**Scene 4 Wakka asking about a prayer**

Before they entered the village, Wakka stopped them. "Hey, do you guys know the prayer?"

Sephiroth: God, cleanse this heathen of his wicked ways, and show him the light!

Director #$! Cut! This isn't a preacher thing, and Sephiroth?

Sephiroth: Yeah?

Director: You're cool, and I'm pretty honored to have you for my fanfic, but when did you become so sacrilegious?

Sephiroth: When obsessed Christians began thinking Final Fantasy, Pokemon, Yugioh, and Digimon were Satanic.

Director: Wow, you are evil.

**Scene 5 Reno demanding Materia**

Reno: Hand it over bro, or you'll die

Sephiroth: Bring it on you firecrotch mother #$& with your #$& #$ and #$&. I'm gonna tear off your &$$ and shove them straight up your #& $ $# $# with #&$!& and then $# $$, then &$($. And then you'll have too $$# sideways.

Everyone stared, jaw dropping.

Director: Holy crap, this is a T fic, I can't put that in there. I'll have to censor it all and rewrite it. Good grief, why'd you do that?

Sephiroth:...I felt like it

Director:...

**Scene 6 Yazoo purchasing Materia**

Yazoo: How much for these Materia?

Merchant: Your virginity

Director: What the- Cut! Hey wait a minute, it's Garnet. Get her out of here!

**Scene 7 Tidus going into the cloisters**

Sephiroth saw Tidus and jumped up to join him. Tidus thought Sephiroth was going to go with him. Sephiroth started beating the crap out of him

Director: Sephiroth...

More punches and kicks can be heard

Director: Sephiroth...

More moaning can be heard

Director: Sephiroth...

A chainsaw can be heard starting

Director: SEPHIROTH!

Sephiroth: Eh?

Director: Knock it off!

Sephiroth: Fine, can't a retired villain have some fun?

Director: Retired? You just got another contract for Crisis Core and that other FF game that I can't remember at this time. You know what, Tidus and Sephiroth stay to work out this scene.

Someone: What about us?

Sephiroth: You aren't special enough

Someone: My mommy thinks I'm special

Sephiroth: Yeah well you're mom's a skank

Someone: At least I have a mom

Director: Oh!

Kadaj: Burned!

Garnet: Pawned

Director: Get Garnet out of here!

**End of Chapter 2**

Director: Well everyone, we finished Chapter of Sephiroth's Second Life Trial

Tidus: You think fans will like me?

Director: Do you look more masculine then feminine?

Tidus: No

Director: There's your answer.

Sephiroth: I think I developed my character really well this time.

Kadaj: That's all this chapter really was...

Loz: My butt itches.

Tidus: Hey boss, do you think I'll get a lot more parts?

Director: Is there a FFVII:EC yet?

Tidus: No

Director: There's your answer.

In game room.

Cloud: WHY THE HELL DID YOU KILL ME FOR!? You're not supposed to kill your allies

Sephiroth playing with Cloud: Coz I'm Sephiroth and I'm Evil. Now embrace the dark side or...DIE!

Kadaj: Can I play yet brother?

Tidus: Hey boss, will I be in the Final Chapter?

Director: Is Rude straight?

Tidus: No

Director: There's your answer


End file.
